(no subject)

[theweaselking]

Watching Harry Potter with torrain. Fuck "dark arts", Hogwarts needs a Phys Ed instructor. 4/5 of all Wizzard problems could be solved be "see how he depends on his wand and 3 seconds to aim and speak? Grab it and punch him in the face, that takes 1 second".

Comments

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

It has occurred to me that a crowd of Slayers could've taken out most of the army in part 8, yeah.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

We're on part 3. Or 4. I can't tell.

Also: Fuck Buffy. A crowd of *perfectly normal Muggles* would eat 99% of all wizards alive.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Why don't all wizzzards carry *two* wands, anyway? Being rendered completely helpless because your wand is stolen is, uh, UNIVERSAL.

And yet, nothing stops anyone from using anyone ELSE'S wand to cast spells. So wand choice is obviously bullshit.

Shitty worldbuilding is typical for tween-lit, I suppose.

[eris-esoteric.livejournal.com]

I love me some Harry Potter, but this has ALWAYS been my very biggest problem with the entire premise. Keep spreading the good word!

[kafziel.livejournal.com]

See also: owning a gun.

I know it's England, but shit, if you are a goddamn wizard i bet you could get your hands on something with some stopping power.

[spartonian.livejournal.com]

I know it's England, but shit, if you are a goddamn wizard i bet you could get your hands on something with some stopping power.

Football hooligans

[falconwarrior.livejournal.com]

This exact point was made in a Sluggy Freelance parody of HP. Muggle gets mistaken for wizard, ends up in a fight with Voldemort, has shotgun.

[iblis-kukl.livejournal.com]

[dwaleberry.livejournal.com]

In case you haven't come across this yet:

Book form: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782108/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Methods_of_Rationality

mp3 form for free: http://hpmor.libsyn.com/

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure "why don't you just punch them/use a gun" has come up in HP:MoR yet, has it?

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

If it's normal for wizards to get physical training, then the bad guys will probably have it, too. This would lead to livelier fight scenes, but not a guaranteed win for the good guys.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

If it became universal, yes.

But right now, your average wizard running into a muggle in a bar is going to get beaten senseless. And the one wizard who learns how to throw a punch will be their king.

[captainweasel.livejournal.com]

Hogwarts needs rational worldbuilding - or wizards would use shotguns.
*if* wizards all had simple, highly effective protections from physical weapons it'd explain why fights are all magical.
But this is the place they run around like idiots instead of casting "Detect Troll"

[eruvadhril.livejournal.com]

Potterverse wizards can cast Mage Armor as a minor action an unlimited number of times per day, and have DR 20/magic. That's why they can play a sport that involves flying dozens of yards above the ground with no safety net, and being bludgeoned by semi-aware cannon-balls.
Plus, wizards aren't proficient in firearms; they'd have to multi-class into Fighter or something.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Pfft, screw wands, I'm going to throw a rock.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Hey, a rock to the face will ruin your whole day, and probably arrive faster than you can get out "Fakelatinium rockstoppus!"

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Hogwarts curriculum is certainly lacking in several areas.

Languages. Because maybe possibly knowing Latin would help with spell creation and learning.

Muggle history. Because, you know, you might want to know what happened/is happening in the outside world when it might be good to know about the A-bomb that could drop on your hidden secret magical house.

Literature. Just because.

Mathematics. Can any wizards other than Hermione and similar kids educated in muggle schools add and subtract?

Physics. Because it pays to know what laws you're breaking.

[cacahuate.livejournal.com]

Can any wizards other than Hermione and similar kids educated in muggle schools add and subtract?

Well, they can read and write, which they were presumably taught at home. I'd guess they're homeschooled in basic math as well, since they need it for, at the very least, dealing with money.

I like the fandom interpretation of arithmancy as magical math, personally. :)

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

OMG I have just realised: The wizards are TRYING to keep their offstring uneducated and pig fucking ignorant, especially so that they won't see an ebon dog and immediately respond "SIRIUS BLACK!"

The kids are being kept away from anything approaching education so they they won't all collectively facepalm at the names and become all genre savvy and realise that they can predict all future plot twists based on names alone because it's tween lit and the expected readers are 11!

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Speaking of stupid names, a character named "Dolores Umbridge" basically requires a student body studiously prohibited from all muggle education to prevent them from predicting the next two books outright.

[sbloyd.livejournal.com]

I think Potterverse wizards could learn a lot from Harry Dresden.

[jerril]

I choose to interpret your icon as Gordon Freeman beating someone to death with a wand while pretending to be Harry Potter. I'm fairly sure it's just Gordon beating someone to death with a crowbar as usual, but it's pretty awesome the other way for this conversation.

SPOILERS

[fridgepunk.livejournal.com]

Because in the double shyamalan ending in the final part of the deathly hallows, it's revealed that magic isn't real and Harry was really an adult morphine addict who'd been experiencing a massive drug induced trip all along, and the wand is really a handgun.

Also Dumbledore turns out to be a dead cat, and voldemort a feral dog that had been chasing harry during his trip.

[torrain.livejournal.com]

Been reading all this, and finally realized what the argument reminds me of.

It reminds me of someone wanting to know why their character can't just drive a gasoline truck into Elysium and blow it up.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I would say it's a lot closer to "why the hell do all the vampires meet in the same room every two weeks, without their retainers?"

Or maybe "since waving a toothpick at a vampire is a 50/50 instant kill, why would anyone ever use anything else?"