Oi, Lucas.
Feb. 23rd, 2012 07:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
theweaselkingDarths And Droids convinced me to watch Revenge Of The Sith for the first time since it came out, a few weeks back. Verdict: It still sucks completely, objectively as a standalone movie, as a sequel, and as a prequel.
But the Star Wars 3D thing and my running out of convenient westerns to watch alongside my game of Fallout New Vegas led me to toss in the original "laserdisc-on-DVD" version of Star Wars.
And I'm counting the number of blatant lies Obi-Wan tells Luke, which weren't lies at all until the prequels.
"I haven't gone by Obi-Wan since before you were born" - no, he was Obi-Wan until well after hiding Darth Vader's child on Darth Vader's home planet with Darth Vader's only living relatives. Which somehow worked.
"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough" about the lightsaber - no, your father didn't know you existed because he was stupid and never checked on what happened to his wife and nearly-born totally-saveable children.
"When I met him, he was the best starfighter pilot in the galaxy" - When you met him he was a slave child with anger management problems who'd never been in a starfighter, or even driven a pod. Fucking pods.
"Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father" - but that one was always a lie.
And Alec Guinness has only been onscreen for five minutes or so.
The history of R2-D2 and Kenobi actually fits pretty well with the inserted backstory, though!
Oh hey, Leia is lying now! "General Kenobi. Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars" - Liar! Although since Leia doesn't know shit about the Clone Wars except what her adopted father told her, and he had zero interest in telling his daughter the truth. Of course, as the Senator for Alderaan, father of the CURRENT Senator for Alderaan, one might have thought he'd have an interest in making sure his planetary representative to the galactic government was well-informed.
Anyone got a link to download that fan-edit of The Phantom Menace that cut all the bits that sucked, dropped 50 minutes from the runtime, and re-arranged the remaining parts into an interesting movie?
But the Star Wars 3D thing and my running out of convenient westerns to watch alongside my game of Fallout New Vegas led me to toss in the original "laserdisc-on-DVD" version of Star Wars.
And I'm counting the number of blatant lies Obi-Wan tells Luke, which weren't lies at all until the prequels.
"I haven't gone by Obi-Wan since before you were born" - no, he was Obi-Wan until well after hiding Darth Vader's child on Darth Vader's home planet with Darth Vader's only living relatives. Which somehow worked.
"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough" about the lightsaber - no, your father didn't know you existed because he was stupid and never checked on what happened to his wife and nearly-born totally-saveable children.
"When I met him, he was the best starfighter pilot in the galaxy" - When you met him he was a slave child with anger management problems who'd never been in a starfighter, or even driven a pod. Fucking pods.
"Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father" - but that one was always a lie.
And Alec Guinness has only been onscreen for five minutes or so.
The history of R2-D2 and Kenobi actually fits pretty well with the inserted backstory, though!
Oh hey, Leia is lying now! "General Kenobi. Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars" - Liar! Although since Leia doesn't know shit about the Clone Wars except what her adopted father told her, and he had zero interest in telling his daughter the truth. Of course, as the Senator for Alderaan, father of the CURRENT Senator for Alderaan, one might have thought he'd have an interest in making sure his planetary representative to the galactic government was well-informed.
Anyone got a link to download that fan-edit of The Phantom Menace that cut all the bits that sucked, dropped 50 minutes from the runtime, and re-arranged the remaining parts into an interesting movie?
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 09:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:15 am (UTC)Smug-looking bastard.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-02-24 10:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:23 am (UTC)WAIT WHAT SUCH A THING EXISTS
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-02-24 03:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 03:23 am (UTC)And yeesh, people- does no-one believe in just doing a straightforward .avi any longer?
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 03:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 01:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 02:06 am (UTC)That's all I can remember him saying. And it irritated me a lot. The kid will hardly appear in the film at that rate.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 02:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 02:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 02:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 02:31 am (UTC)This was a mistake.
The rewatch has confirmed that this was a mistake.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 04:52 am (UTC)(* the one marked "ep I". No, its the first one. Shut up. No, not the one that came out in 1978. Just shut up.)
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 04:57 am (UTC)No Jar-Jar, no Jake Lloyd, no dumbass fake-politics - for $10 I would consider watching Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, and Ray Park bash at each other with sticks.
And yet, somehow, nobody ever wanted to give me "only the interesting parts"
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 07:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-02-24 08:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-02-25 11:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 04:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 04:55 am (UTC)I prefer to think this is what really happened: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BMgegut3UM
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 05:00 am (UTC)I was wrong. My memories were accurate, it really was that bad.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 09:41 am (UTC)I still wanted my money back.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 07:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 08:27 am (UTC)http://northisup.com/blog/a-new-sith-or-revenge-of-the-hope-mirror/
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 08:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 10:45 am (UTC)(Aside - RIP Brunching Shuttlecocks. I still miss you...)
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 06:30 pm (UTC)That is actually an interesting explanation.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-24 07:11 pm (UTC)http://io9.com/5888010/what-if-the-phantom-menace-was-a-really-really-good-movie
not a bad variant at all.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-08 02:12 am (UTC)"The result is an 85-minute movie titled Star Wars: Episode III.5: The Editor Strikes Back. It should be noted that the Star Wars prequel trilogy is almost 7 hours in total length, and the shortest film (Episode 1) is more than 51 minutes longer than Grace’s fan cut. What this means is a lot of footage ended up on the editing room floor, and a lot of creative choices were made in the editing process. And the result? Topher Grace’s Star Wars film is probably the best possible edit of the Star Wars prequels given the footage released and available."
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-08 03:43 pm (UTC)