An open letter:

[theweaselking]

Dear "Final Needs Planning Program", Purple Shield, 441 Confederation Parkway, Unit 9, Vaughan Ontario, L4K 0A8 ("finalneedsplanning.ca"):



You are stupid, worthless people, who should kill yourselves as a benefit to humanity. Your lives serve no purpose and your deaths would be a net *and* gross improvement to all factors of humanity, all the way from happiness to "net financial gain". You are scum.

Under no circumstances should anyone deal, in any way, in any respect, with Purple Shield or their parent company Assurant Inc
(
Assurant, Inc.
One Chase Manhattan Plaza
New York, NY 10005
Tel: 212.859.7000
http://www.assurant.com/about/officelocations/
)
or any of their subsidiaries, without first spitting on them. Twice. And then leaving them to seek their competitors, because they are truly the worst people on the planet, and should kill themselves for the betterment of all humankind.

Yours truly,
Fuck Off. And Kill Yourself. In That Order. Yes, That Is My Legal Name.

(More pictures to follow, if I feel like it. I'm not sure if I do. It was pretty bad, yo.)

Comments

[pajaro-ca.livejournal.com]

so...I know nothing about this company...can you elaborate?

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

The picture is an envelope they sent me, today. It is absolutely meant to be mistaken for "a cheque you get when a family member dies" since it's meant to be "the cheque has shifted and all you can see is the memo 'death benefits'". It is: "an ad"

[dianavilliers.livejournal.com]

An ad aimed specifically at the recently berieved?

[sophia8.livejournal.com]

No. It's a "This is what you could be getting when your beloved relative finally does the decent thing and kicks the bucket - if you insure with us!" ad. Aimed at everybody.

[dianavilliers.livejournal.com]

Mmmm. Tasteless.

[pajaro-ca.livejournal.com]

That is pretty sick.
Sorry for not knowing but did you recently lose someone? If so please accept my sympathies, for what that's worth?

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

I did not. But when I received a letter that appeared to be a "death benefits" cheque, I was upset.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

That's a charmingly understated word, "upset."

So much high-grade jerkness in such a little envelope.

[lordbleys.livejournal.com]

Last year I worked at Assurant Atlanta for three days. During my orientation and training I was subjected to sexual and religious harassment by the trainer as well as the women in my training group (I was the only male). I reported it, and was let go as an inappropriate fit for the company.

Fuck them in the ear, twice. With a hobbo's herpes ridden squirrel fucking cock.

[queenanthai.livejournal.com]

Ooh. I used to work for Assurant. >.

Great!

[disgruntledgrrl.livejournal.com]

just fucking send that to someone at home worried about their loved ones "in the sand".
I wonder if these fucks will be held accountable for any suicides stemming from their advertising brilliance.

Permission to share?

[disgruntledgrrl.livejournal.com]

Cuz this shit is news worthy.

[theweaselking.livejournal.com]

Go right ahead.

[cleodhna.livejournal.com]

Excellent. Thanks. That shit is seriously disgusting.