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theweaselkingReported problem: "My machine won't boot. It hangs on the Windows splash screen forever."
Grab the machine, bring it to my desk, start it up in safe mode: Works, but slowly.
Reboot in self-repair mode: Detects problems with booting, determines that there's nothing to repair.
Reboot into normal mode and go for lunch: Machine has completed booting normally by the time I get back. Log in, notice incredible slowness, check event viewer and resource manager: Hard disk access time is incredibly slow, ATAPI errors.
Most likely problem: loose or bad SATA cable. So I go to pop the case open and discover....
#1: The case has been disassembled and reassembled poorly, jamming one of the sides and requiring a lever to get loose.
#2: The sides are on BACKWARDS, meaning there's no vent for the CPU fan.
#3: Filled with fucking dust because duh.
#4: Lying on the motherboard: A screwdriver, four screws, a grounding strap, and a SATA cable disconnected from everything.
#5: HDD cable is loose.
Blow for dust, reconnect SATA cable, reassemble case CORRECTLY, add LOCK to case, everything works.
But seriously. Who thinks "gee, I will just leave a screwdriver in my computer?"
(User is a hardware nerd who occasionally needs to plug something SATA into his machine for work. I have pointed out that his machine has an EXTERNAL sata port for exactly this reason.)
Grab the machine, bring it to my desk, start it up in safe mode: Works, but slowly.
Reboot in self-repair mode: Detects problems with booting, determines that there's nothing to repair.
Reboot into normal mode and go for lunch: Machine has completed booting normally by the time I get back. Log in, notice incredible slowness, check event viewer and resource manager: Hard disk access time is incredibly slow, ATAPI errors.
Most likely problem: loose or bad SATA cable. So I go to pop the case open and discover....
#1: The case has been disassembled and reassembled poorly, jamming one of the sides and requiring a lever to get loose.
#2: The sides are on BACKWARDS, meaning there's no vent for the CPU fan.
#3: Filled with fucking dust because duh.
#4: Lying on the motherboard: A screwdriver, four screws, a grounding strap, and a SATA cable disconnected from everything.
#5: HDD cable is loose.
Blow for dust, reconnect SATA cable, reassemble case CORRECTLY, add LOCK to case, everything works.
But seriously. Who thinks "gee, I will just leave a screwdriver in my computer?"
(User is a hardware nerd who occasionally needs to plug something SATA into his machine for work. I have pointed out that his machine has an EXTERNAL sata port for exactly this reason.)
"Way to go, Poindexter"
Date: 2013-09-13 07:51 pm (UTC)(checks shipping for a taser)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-14 07:56 am (UTC)Surprised the computer worked at all, and that it didn't rattle.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-14 04:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-14 04:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-14 04:44 pm (UTC)You could use it for, say, emergency can opener.
Backscratcher.
Poking at those mysterious hairy and dusty lumps that occasionally appear inside coworkers' computers, just in case if it is some sort of alien creature instead of disgusting lack of computer hygiene.
'Cause, hey, free screwdriver! It is yours now, isn't it. Finders, keepers.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-15 10:11 pm (UTC)"nothing, I didn't touch it"
"... you realise that if I found out you are lying, I will take away your finger privileges, right?"
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-21 05:10 am (UTC)