Sep. 6th, 2005
Today's morning comics and stuff trawl.
Sep. 6th, 2005 11:16 am
.... I never thought I'd be able say this, but Jack Chick has lost it. No, really. Further than before.
(no subject)
Sep. 6th, 2005 01:11 pmQuoth the New York Times: "Bush to New Orleans: Drop Dead"
German news didn't just cover Bush when he visited the wreckage, they covered before and after. (Link requires Realplayer or RealAlternative)
That's right. Aid stations were set up immediately before Bush arrived with the cameras and torn down immediately after he and the cameras left - but the news only showed that everywhere Bush went, the aid stations were up and running.
Compare and contrast: Hurricane relief in Louisiana and Mississippi in 2005, versus hurricane relief in Florida in 2003 - a much richer swing state in an upcoming election, run by a family member.
"I will never again tell people that help is on the way," said Thomas M. Stone, the parish fire chief. "It's not coming."
Yet another case of Codi Rice lyign through her teeth: Kingston, Jamaica: The US State department refuses offers of relief and assistance from Jamaica
Pam Spaulding on what refugee status means to gay people, due to the US's hypocritical and discriminatory laws.( Details )
Finally, a story of seven refugees who banded together to get to help - the oldest of whom, a six-year-old-boy, carried his five-month-old brother and led 5 toddlers through Baton Rouge to find help. They were evacuated from New Orleans by helicopter - their parents were told to send the children first, and the helicopter would be back for the adults in 25 minutes. It never returned, but instead dropped the children in Baton Rouge. The parents were sent to San Antonio separately.
German news didn't just cover Bush when he visited the wreckage, they covered before and after. (Link requires Realplayer or RealAlternative)
Christine Adelhardt live from Biloxi:
"Two minutes ago the President drove by with his convoy. What happened here in Biloxi during the day is really unbelievable. All of a sudden the rescue troops finally showed up, the clean-up vehicles; we didn't see those over the last days here. In an area where it really isn't urgent, there is nobody around, all the remaining people went to the city center.
The President is traveling with a press convoy, so they get wonderful pictures saying the president was here and the help will follow. The amount of this catastrophe shocked me, but the amount of set-up that happened here today is at least equally shocking for me.
That's right. Aid stations were set up immediately before Bush arrived with the cameras and torn down immediately after he and the cameras left - but the news only showed that everywhere Bush went, the aid stations were up and running.
Compare and contrast: Hurricane relief in Louisiana and Mississippi in 2005, versus hurricane relief in Florida in 2003 - a much richer swing state in an upcoming election, run by a family member.
"I will never again tell people that help is on the way," said Thomas M. Stone, the parish fire chief. "It's not coming."
Yet another case of Codi Rice lyign through her teeth: Kingston, Jamaica: The US State department refuses offers of relief and assistance from Jamaica
Pam Spaulding on what refugee status means to gay people, due to the US's hypocritical and discriminatory laws.( Details )
Finally, a story of seven refugees who banded together to get to help - the oldest of whom, a six-year-old-boy, carried his five-month-old brother and led 5 toddlers through Baton Rouge to find help. They were evacuated from New Orleans by helicopter - their parents were told to send the children first, and the helicopter would be back for the adults in 25 minutes. It never returned, but instead dropped the children in Baton Rouge. The parents were sent to San Antonio separately.
So this guy walks into a talent agency and says to the agent, "Have I got an act for you! It's a family act, you'll love it."
The agent says "Alright, lay it on me."
The guy says, "Well, first the grandpa comes in, this is in the thirties, mind, deals with the Nazis and makes a ton of money off German banking and mining, see. He gets nailed for trading with the enemy in the war, but it doesn't matter much cause by now his family is incredibly wealthy. His son, the Father, flies a plane in the Second World War and later becomes head of the CIA, then later, vice president, and after that, a one term president. He does a half ass job and gets out, kinda sets things up for later. It's the kid, he's the real lynchpin of the act. It gets better."
The agent nods, doodling on his dayplanner. "Please, continue."
"The kid comes in, and starts off with avoiding Vietnam by getting a nice position in the National Guard, see? But he skips out on that gig when he doesn't need it anymore. Then he runs a series of businesses into the ground. He can't run an oil company, he can't manage a baseball team, tries to run for Congress and fails, he does drugs and boozes, has trouble with basic life skills. But since his daddy's Vice President, or later, President, he gets whatever he wants. Gets bailed out every time. He runs for governor of Texas and wins, and sets a new record for executing people. He likes to joke about the executions, too, mocking the pleas for leniency. 150-odd prisoners go to the chair under the Kid as governor. But it gets better, this is just the start."
The agent nods, dropping his pen. "Umm.. alright.."
"The Kid doesn't just wanna be a governor, he wants to be President. So he runs for President and.. tough luck, he doesn't win. So get this, his buddies on the Supreme Court have to squeeze him in. They push and push, and finally he's President. He doodles around for a few months and then boom! Some terrorists come in and flatten a couple skyscrapers in New York. Thousands of people die, jumping out of skyscrapers and getting flattened in plane crashes, and the Kid swings into action. He starts bombing where the terrorists are hiding, and looking for them. I mean, wouldn't you? But when he can't find them in a couple months he goes after a totally different country, attacking them 'cause they had oil and his Dad had trouble with them ten or twelve years ago. He says it's because this country was the real guys who flattened those skyscrapers, because they'll do it again with weapons of mass destruction if they get the chance. So people are right behind him. Now there's a big ass war right on stage and bombs are flying, people getting killed left and right. And the Kid, you'll love this, underequips the soldiers being sent in, not enough armor, and makes them do police functions in a hostile country for months and months and then years after he says we won the war. And we get to torturing the Iraqis, making them stand around with electrodes on their nutsacks, raping their wives and kids in front of them, attacking them with vicious dogs, pissing on their holy books, and the audience loves it, they clap and applaud. A real crowd pleaser, that sequence. But soon the kid has gotten 1800 American troops killed, wounded thousands more, and get this there were no weapons of mass destruction at all, the whole thing was for oil, and they keep lying about it, lying and lying and lying. And now there's tortured people all over the place. Meanwhile the economy's sputtering along, and another election comes up. The Kid wins this one, by a squeaker, 'cause the other guy wasn't likable enough. So people are starting to question the whole war thing, just a little, and the country we invaded is in the shitter two years later, and nobody wants to leave for fear it'll get even worse. And then.."
The agent leans forward in his chair. "NOW what?"
"Okay, big finish now. A category 4 hurricane comes in and wipes out half the Gulf Coast! Just flattens everything for hundreds of miles around. And the levees in New Orleans break, cause the kid cut the budget for them to finance the war, and the whole city is flooded! Now, the rich white folks got out for the most part, but the poor folks, mostly black, get stuck at the Superdome and the Convention Center by the thousands. And get this, the kid's on vacation so they wait for four days, sleeping in their own shit, starving to death, dying of thirst, we got dead grannies in their wheelchairs and dead bodies lying on the streets and floating in the water, godawful spread of disease and filth, looters running around shooting guns, we got no organization from the government, total chaos. And the Kid, the Kid's in charge and he blames the governor for not signing the proper forms, even though she did. And the Kid turns back offers of aid and says he'll handle it, and that's what he does, he handles it right into the ground. So we got 3,000 corpses in New York, 10 or 20,000 corpses in New Orleans, we got 1800 military corpses quietly shipped home in boxes, we got untold thousands of dead Iraqis, we got Iraq in chaos, we got New Orleans underwater, we got refugees packing domed stadiums and living in shit, we got five years of blood and carnage and the economy in the crapper, and we got $4/gallon gas. Everyone gets up and takes a bow, except of course the mounds of corpses littering the stage."
The agent is completely flummoxed. Just flabbergasted. "So what the hell do you call this act?"
The guy says, with a flourish, "The Aristocrats!"
======================================================
Not mine. Wish it was.
The agent says "Alright, lay it on me."
The guy says, "Well, first the grandpa comes in, this is in the thirties, mind, deals with the Nazis and makes a ton of money off German banking and mining, see. He gets nailed for trading with the enemy in the war, but it doesn't matter much cause by now his family is incredibly wealthy. His son, the Father, flies a plane in the Second World War and later becomes head of the CIA, then later, vice president, and after that, a one term president. He does a half ass job and gets out, kinda sets things up for later. It's the kid, he's the real lynchpin of the act. It gets better."
The agent nods, doodling on his dayplanner. "Please, continue."
"The kid comes in, and starts off with avoiding Vietnam by getting a nice position in the National Guard, see? But he skips out on that gig when he doesn't need it anymore. Then he runs a series of businesses into the ground. He can't run an oil company, he can't manage a baseball team, tries to run for Congress and fails, he does drugs and boozes, has trouble with basic life skills. But since his daddy's Vice President, or later, President, he gets whatever he wants. Gets bailed out every time. He runs for governor of Texas and wins, and sets a new record for executing people. He likes to joke about the executions, too, mocking the pleas for leniency. 150-odd prisoners go to the chair under the Kid as governor. But it gets better, this is just the start."
The agent nods, dropping his pen. "Umm.. alright.."
"The Kid doesn't just wanna be a governor, he wants to be President. So he runs for President and.. tough luck, he doesn't win. So get this, his buddies on the Supreme Court have to squeeze him in. They push and push, and finally he's President. He doodles around for a few months and then boom! Some terrorists come in and flatten a couple skyscrapers in New York. Thousands of people die, jumping out of skyscrapers and getting flattened in plane crashes, and the Kid swings into action. He starts bombing where the terrorists are hiding, and looking for them. I mean, wouldn't you? But when he can't find them in a couple months he goes after a totally different country, attacking them 'cause they had oil and his Dad had trouble with them ten or twelve years ago. He says it's because this country was the real guys who flattened those skyscrapers, because they'll do it again with weapons of mass destruction if they get the chance. So people are right behind him. Now there's a big ass war right on stage and bombs are flying, people getting killed left and right. And the Kid, you'll love this, underequips the soldiers being sent in, not enough armor, and makes them do police functions in a hostile country for months and months and then years after he says we won the war. And we get to torturing the Iraqis, making them stand around with electrodes on their nutsacks, raping their wives and kids in front of them, attacking them with vicious dogs, pissing on their holy books, and the audience loves it, they clap and applaud. A real crowd pleaser, that sequence. But soon the kid has gotten 1800 American troops killed, wounded thousands more, and get this there were no weapons of mass destruction at all, the whole thing was for oil, and they keep lying about it, lying and lying and lying. And now there's tortured people all over the place. Meanwhile the economy's sputtering along, and another election comes up. The Kid wins this one, by a squeaker, 'cause the other guy wasn't likable enough. So people are starting to question the whole war thing, just a little, and the country we invaded is in the shitter two years later, and nobody wants to leave for fear it'll get even worse. And then.."
The agent leans forward in his chair. "NOW what?"
"Okay, big finish now. A category 4 hurricane comes in and wipes out half the Gulf Coast! Just flattens everything for hundreds of miles around. And the levees in New Orleans break, cause the kid cut the budget for them to finance the war, and the whole city is flooded! Now, the rich white folks got out for the most part, but the poor folks, mostly black, get stuck at the Superdome and the Convention Center by the thousands. And get this, the kid's on vacation so they wait for four days, sleeping in their own shit, starving to death, dying of thirst, we got dead grannies in their wheelchairs and dead bodies lying on the streets and floating in the water, godawful spread of disease and filth, looters running around shooting guns, we got no organization from the government, total chaos. And the Kid, the Kid's in charge and he blames the governor for not signing the proper forms, even though she did. And the Kid turns back offers of aid and says he'll handle it, and that's what he does, he handles it right into the ground. So we got 3,000 corpses in New York, 10 or 20,000 corpses in New Orleans, we got 1800 military corpses quietly shipped home in boxes, we got untold thousands of dead Iraqis, we got Iraq in chaos, we got New Orleans underwater, we got refugees packing domed stadiums and living in shit, we got five years of blood and carnage and the economy in the crapper, and we got $4/gallon gas. Everyone gets up and takes a bow, except of course the mounds of corpses littering the stage."
The agent is completely flummoxed. Just flabbergasted. "So what the hell do you call this act?"
The guy says, with a flourish, "The Aristocrats!"
======================================================
Not mine. Wish it was.
(no subject)
Sep. 6th, 2005 04:58 pmYale Metzger wants the Anchorage Police Department to replace his cannonball. Police officers say they blew it up to protect the public.
The police are calling Metzger "an idiot"
The police are calling Metzger "an idiot"
(no subject)
Sep. 6th, 2005 05:20 pmA new Trojan monitors access to porn sites and then displays a quote from the Koran chastising the surfer for his or her sins, a security vendor said Tuesday.
Once it's installed, Yusufali.a -- called "Cager.a" by Trend Micro -- watches which sites Windows users visit by examining the browser's title bar. If the Trojan sees a word in its list -- such as "teen," "xx," "sex," or "penis" -- it minimizes the window and displays a quote from the Koran.
"Yusufali: Know, therefore, that there is no god but Allah, and ask forgiveness for they fault, and for the men and women who believe: for Allah knows how ye move about and how ye dwell in your homes."
"This Trojan isn't trying to steal money or confidential information, but acting as a moral guardian instead, blocking viewing of sites it determines are unsavory," said Graham Cluley, senior technology consultant for Sophos, in a statement. " "This may have been written as a joke, or as a serious attempt to clean-up the habits of Internet users."
Eventually the Koran quote is replaced by a "For Exit Click Here" button. Once the user moves the mouse, however, the box changes to show three buttons -- LogOff, ShutDown, and Restart -- all of which when clicked log off the current user. The mouse cannot be moved outside the buttons' box.
That box shows the text "OH! NO i'm in the Cage," hence the moniker Cager.a by anti-virus vendor Trend Micro.
========================================================================================
Appropriately enough, the very first spam was religious lunatics inflicting their inanity on everyone else, too.
Once it's installed, Yusufali.a -- called "Cager.a" by Trend Micro -- watches which sites Windows users visit by examining the browser's title bar. If the Trojan sees a word in its list -- such as "teen," "xx," "sex," or "penis" -- it minimizes the window and displays a quote from the Koran.
"Yusufali: Know, therefore, that there is no god but Allah, and ask forgiveness for they fault, and for the men and women who believe: for Allah knows how ye move about and how ye dwell in your homes."
"This Trojan isn't trying to steal money or confidential information, but acting as a moral guardian instead, blocking viewing of sites it determines are unsavory," said Graham Cluley, senior technology consultant for Sophos, in a statement. " "This may have been written as a joke, or as a serious attempt to clean-up the habits of Internet users."
Eventually the Koran quote is replaced by a "For Exit Click Here" button. Once the user moves the mouse, however, the box changes to show three buttons -- LogOff, ShutDown, and Restart -- all of which when clicked log off the current user. The mouse cannot be moved outside the buttons' box.
That box shows the text "OH! NO i'm in the Cage," hence the moniker Cager.a by anti-virus vendor Trend Micro.
========================================================================================
Appropriately enough, the very first spam was religious lunatics inflicting their inanity on everyone else, too.
Adopt a Penguin today!
Sep. 6th, 2005 05:52 pmWelcome to the most respected, domesticated penguin dealer on the Internet! Relax and take a look around our site where you can find information on our company, our products, and what goes into the care of a penguin. Penguin Warehouse, Inc. sells certified purebred penguins, useful penguin books, and many other items to make you and your new pet happy.
Top 10 Reasons To Adopt A Penguin:
1. The perfect conversation piece for parties!
2. Make great foot-warmers.
3. Lovely lawn ornament.
4. Man's true best friend.
5. Good dancing partner.
6. Bring South Pole home!
7. Come fully dressed in their own tuxedo.
8. Rid house of pesky krill.
9. Good Christmas Decorations!
10. Have you seen a penguin?!
Top 10 Reasons To Adopt A Penguin:
1. The perfect conversation piece for parties!
2. Make great foot-warmers.
3. Lovely lawn ornament.
4. Man's true best friend.
5. Good dancing partner.
6. Bring South Pole home!
7. Come fully dressed in their own tuxedo.
8. Rid house of pesky krill.
9. Good Christmas Decorations!
10. Have you seen a penguin?!
"Krusaders For Khr
Sep. 6th, 2005 07:08 pmA functional definition of schadenfreude: The feeling you get while watching the IRD and the AFA madly spin their wheels trying to avoid being connected with their own base of support.
The KKK, ( Here - This cut exists solely to make you click twice to get to the link to the American White Knights Of The Ku Klux Klan page ) are supporting the IRD and AFA's core, fundamental goals, for exactly the same reasons as the IRD and AFA, and offering their own support as much as possible. The IRD and the AFA are desperately trying to pollute the issue and continue their claim that their sexism and homophobia doesn't come from the *exacty same source* using *exactly the same logic* as the KKK's racism.
It's awesome.
The KKK, ( Here - This cut exists solely to make you click twice to get to the link to the American White Knights Of The Ku Klux Klan page ) are supporting the IRD and AFA's core, fundamental goals, for exactly the same reasons as the IRD and AFA, and offering their own support as much as possible. The IRD and the AFA are desperately trying to pollute the issue and continue their claim that their sexism and homophobia doesn't come from the *exacty same source* using *exactly the same logic* as the KKK's racism.
It's awesome.
Holy Festering Dodochicken, Batman!
Sep. 6th, 2005 07:52 pm
Doesn't this LOOK like the kind of bird that would bite its own head off as a defensive mechanism?
Stolen from
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ursulav. Prints available from her if you click the link.
