theweaselking | Oct. 1st, 2007

Oct. 1st, 2007

Step 1: School bans all bags, sacks, containers, etc, because the school administrators are stupid. Flatly, mindblowingly stupid.
Step 2: Realising this may cause problems for female students for about a week every month, they make an exception: You may carry a purse while you're having your period.
Step 3: Totally predictable hilarity ensues, as everyone now can easily see personal hygiene details on 50% of the student body, AND the school security guards are now *checking* to make sure nobody is "abusing" the right to carry a bag.

Japanese breed transparent frogs, to save on dissection costs.

No, really.

You know it's shaping up to be a great day when one of the first orders of business is to find a screwdriver to use to fix your screwdriver.

Latest US military cost-saving measure: Discharging thousands of US soldiers for "pre-existing" mental conditions, so that they don't have to pay for their treatment.

For bonus points, combine this with their continued insistence that recruiting standards are still high, *and* their implicit admission through this tactic that they've hired tens of thousands of people with personality disorders that make them unfit for service, armed them, and sent them into an occupation zone full of civilians with free-fire rules of engagement.

"If you feel that your town is in danger of becoming overpopulated with the open-minded, there are steps you can take. Petition your city council to set up roadblocks at all major entrances to your community. Outlanders will be subjected to searches to ensure they don’t have any yoga DVDs, incense sticks or trendy books on child-rearing. Also, all residents leaving town should be forced to wear helmets made of tinfoil. The tinfoil helmets will keep dangerous ideas from getting into their heads while they’re Outside. If anyone objects, tell them they should have an open mind."

- Jim Cook, "The importance of keeping a closed mind"