Real, true headlines.

Catholic Church announces intent to "ally" with Penn State over sex-abuse scandal.

I'm trying to figure out if they're just offering tips on how to cover it up better next time.

Meta.

Me: "So, if I Slice Of Life this, I'm going to die, right?"
torrain: "Yes."
[pause]
Me: "Sooner than if I didn't..."
torrain: "YES!"