theweaselking: (Default)
I found some more stuff my Dear Former Homeowner left behind. In it were three coins - the first was a Swiss Franc, the second two, I can't identify. The writing on them looks Arabic, but I can't read 'em. Enough of the characters (and the plants around the rims of the coins) are the same that I bet they're from the same country.

So I took pictures!

ExpandThey're nice high-quality ones )

Same two coins, front and back images. How about it, Interweb? What country are those from, and how many cents are they roughly worth?

Edit: They're both Iranian! The bigger is 10 Rials, from 1940. The smaller is 5 Rials, from 1933. They're worth approximately 0.15% of one Canadian cent.

Neat!
theweaselking: (Default)
While I appreciate that it's difficult to ensure that *all* of your addresses are changed, one would expect that you had perhaps changed *some* of them.

However, since the 6-month period during which Canada Post forwards your mail to your new address has now expired, I should not be receiving:
A) your bank statements
B) your RRSP statements
C) your cellphone bills
D) your letters from HRCC based on requests made in MARCH OF 2008.

While I am willing to call all of these people back, explain the situation, and then shred the documents that I have been erroneously sent since I do not have a forwarding address for you, I still don't like doing it.

When this kind of document arrived during those six months of mail forwarding, complete with giant yellow "FORWARDED DOCUMENT" sticker, of the sort *we* saw for the few things *we'd* forgotten to get changed, did it not occur to you to contact your bank/provider/POTENTIAL FUTURE EMPLOYER and inform them of the address change?

I hate you,
John
theweaselking: (Default)
Dear Former Homeowner:

I can understand not replacing the furnace filter. After all, until our home inspector came through, I wasn't aware that furnaces HAD filters. It seems obvious in retrospect, but it simply had never occured to me before.

However, there are other things that I feel you perhaps SHOULD have known about.

When walking through the house upon taking possession, I was making a catalog of things you had left behind. Feeling a bit silly and passing the dryer, I said "I wonder if she left us lint?" and moved to open the lint trap.

It wouldn't budge.

I paused, puzzled. I pulled again.

It wouldn't budge.

This made me concerned. I actually put a bit of effort into pulling, and it started to move.

A few seconds later, your comment about how running the dryer really made the electricity bills go up jumped into *stark* relief.



IT CAME FROM THE LINT TRAP.



This thing is beyond lint. It is all the way into being fucking FELT.

For perspective, you see that little brown line directly above the thumb in that picture?

That's a toothpick. A whole, unbroken toothpick, in the original individually-wrapped plastic package.

This dryer was new in 2006. From that arm-length compressed BEAST, I suspect that you never *once* cleaned the lint trap, ever.

All it needs is googly eyes and fangs and the damn thing would be OM NOM NOM NOM NOMing on our cats, woman!

This would have come earlier, but we couldn't find the camera cable to transfer the pictures to the computer, and this story NEEDS pictures.
theweaselking: (Default)
I can understand leaving some last-minute garbage behind.

I can also totally understand leaving behind the dresser that you said you'd leave, and maybe even the king-size bedframe that you said you MIGHT leave behind if your friend couldn't take it out in time. Those, you informed us of and we told you having them would be cool.

However, you moved out before noon on a day when garbage was collected at noon.

There is no excuse for leaving:

sixteen bags of garbage, filling the garage so full that my car would not fit in until today.
The dresser, two other dressers, an "entertainment unit" that weighs more than 100kg, multiple tables, and an area rug that stinks of cat piss.
Potatoes. No, really, what the fuck, potatoes?
Many large pieces of broken glass. Were you COLLECTING them?
A full-sized heavy bag in good condition (KEEPING THAT!)
A regulation basketball net, portable (Neighbours with young children want it. PS, they hated you. A lot.)
A waist-high stone pillar.
Two very large bookcases.
A child's sled.
SIX MILLION THINGS WITH HAPPY FACES ON THEM NO REALLY WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
An oriental screen.
An electric "soup cooker". Really, it's like a kettle, but specifically for soup. I don't know.
A giant suitcase filled with old shoes and mothballs.
The Lion King Interactive Board Game And Playset (unopened)
A hockey stick (untouched, unfortunately shooting left. I shoot right)
A few dozen other things, I'm sure, that I don't remember.

Yours truly,
John

PS: finally got my desktop plugged in again. 493 messages. The internet loves me. I don't love you. I think this means I'm better than you, or something. Either way, you should feel bad, because I want you to.

PPS: As soon as we find the cable that goes with the camera, I am TOTALLY posting It Came From The Lint Trap.

Because it did. And is scary.
theweaselking: (Default)
Dear former homeowner,

While I appreciate that your cat had kittens, and kittens are not the brightest of bulbs at the best times, you are a human. As such, when the kittens miss the litter box, it is your job to clean it up.

And sometimes you won't notice for a day or so that the little darlings have missed the litterbox. I understand this, too. However, when you picked up the litter box to move it out of your house, and it stuck to the floor and left a *ring* of dried, sticky kitten piss around where it was sitting, did it not occur to you to perhaps clean that shit up?

Yours truly,
John

PS: Several of your esthetic decisions were mindblowingly hideous.

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