Why D&D Sucks, #207 in a series.
Jul. 27th, 2005 08:51 am
Jul. 27th, 2005
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 08:57 amBush To London Bombers: 'Bring It On'
Bush officially responded to the latest round of London transit bombings Monday, challenging terrorists to "do their worst." Said Bush, in a televised statement from the Oval Office: "The proud and resilient people of London can take anything the forces of evil and cowardice can throw at them. They will never live in fear of you. Bring it on." Prime Minister Tony Blair thanked Bush for his comments, inviting him to visit London and ride the Underground in a show of solidarity.
Bush officially responded to the latest round of London transit bombings Monday, challenging terrorists to "do their worst." Said Bush, in a televised statement from the Oval Office: "The proud and resilient people of London can take anything the forces of evil and cowardice can throw at them. They will never live in fear of you. Bring it on." Prime Minister Tony Blair thanked Bush for his comments, inviting him to visit London and ride the Underground in a show of solidarity.
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 09:17 amI want a War Simulation. A real one. I don't want little cartoon tanks jostling around in a video sandbox chewing down each other's health meters while a preteen opponent insults my sexuality using every key on his keyboard except the ones with letters. I want an RTS game that will give me a stress headache after an hour and an ulcer after a week. I want to identify experienced players on the street by their Thousand-Yard Stares.
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Funny, funny article.
Even if it does try to justify torture as a necessary and practical method of information gathering that just "hurts feelings"
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Funny, funny article.
Even if it does try to justify torture as a necessary and practical method of information gathering that just "hurts feelings"
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 11:24 amElderly man takes his electric wheelchair on a trip - on the Autobahn.
Also,
Man dies in freak Haunted House elevator accident.
Also,
Worker at a Boston maternity store fired for getting pregnant.
Also,
British man finds white powder in phone booth, sniffs it, wakes up naked surrounded by men in rubber suits spraying him with their, uh, "hoses"
Also,
"A Yoga teacher is hoping to earn a place in the record books by swallowing live fish and blowing them out of his nose."
Also,
US Department of Defense defies a court order to comply with the Freedom Of Information act, citing that if the world knows the details of their rape and murder of prisoners it will make it harder to take and hold prisoners.
Also,
Man dies in freak Haunted House elevator accident.
Also,
Worker at a Boston maternity store fired for getting pregnant.
Also,
British man finds white powder in phone booth, sniffs it, wakes up naked surrounded by men in rubber suits spraying him with their, uh, "hoses"
Also,
"A Yoga teacher is hoping to earn a place in the record books by swallowing live fish and blowing them out of his nose."
Also,
US Department of Defense defies a court order to comply with the Freedom Of Information act, citing that if the world knows the details of their rape and murder of prisoners it will make it harder to take and hold prisoners.
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 01:50 pmDisgruntled Harry Potter Fan Releases "Corrected" Version of Book
A disgruntled Harry Potter fan has released a "corrected" version of J.K Rowling's latest installment in the series, The Half-Blood Prince, prompting a storm of curiosity and support from many fans who disliked the direction of the story in the book. It has also, not surprisingly, prompted a storm of legal activity from Rowling's publishers.
"Whenever an author puts a work out into the universe, it is no longer their exclusive property anymore," said Mary Sue Pembroke, who is credited as the author of the modified book. "Harry Potter belongs to all of us, not just Rowling. She took some liberties with the story in this latest book that really weren't faithful to the logic of the narrative. My version is, I think it fair to say, much more faithful to the true Harry Potter mythos."
Pembroke's version involves a new romance for Harry with an exchange student from America whose physical description is remarkably close to the picture on her website. The new character, who rapidly rises to the top of her class, has a mysterious scar on her forehead similar to Harry's famous lightning bolt. She is also an "animagus" who can assume the form of a talking winged unicorn.
"If you read the earlier books deeply, if you understand the mythology and the deeper messages like I do, you'd realize that the narrative really leads up to Harry finding this remarkable soul-mate," said Pembroke with a dreamy expression on her face.
Scholastic Publishing has obtained an injunction against Pembroke and has threatened a lawsuit.
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Sadly, this is only *barely* satire.
A disgruntled Harry Potter fan has released a "corrected" version of J.K Rowling's latest installment in the series, The Half-Blood Prince, prompting a storm of curiosity and support from many fans who disliked the direction of the story in the book. It has also, not surprisingly, prompted a storm of legal activity from Rowling's publishers.
"Whenever an author puts a work out into the universe, it is no longer their exclusive property anymore," said Mary Sue Pembroke, who is credited as the author of the modified book. "Harry Potter belongs to all of us, not just Rowling. She took some liberties with the story in this latest book that really weren't faithful to the logic of the narrative. My version is, I think it fair to say, much more faithful to the true Harry Potter mythos."
Pembroke's version involves a new romance for Harry with an exchange student from America whose physical description is remarkably close to the picture on her website. The new character, who rapidly rises to the top of her class, has a mysterious scar on her forehead similar to Harry's famous lightning bolt. She is also an "animagus" who can assume the form of a talking winged unicorn.
"If you read the earlier books deeply, if you understand the mythology and the deeper messages like I do, you'd realize that the narrative really leads up to Harry finding this remarkable soul-mate," said Pembroke with a dreamy expression on her face.
Scholastic Publishing has obtained an injunction against Pembroke and has threatened a lawsuit.
==========================
Sadly, this is only *barely* satire.
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 02:49 pm"This is pretty user-proof. All they have to do is get their username and password right."
That poor, poor deluded bastard.
Speaking of which, "My computer is running real slow!"
That poor, poor deluded bastard.
Speaking of which, "My computer is running real slow!"
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 02:59 pmUS Senate has added extra pork to the "daylight savings time" bill.
Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Disney) says "It contains provisions that should make Utah a central figure in the nation's energy strategy for years to come," "We've sought this for years, and now it's finally happening,"
Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Disney) says "It contains provisions that should make Utah a central figure in the nation's energy strategy for years to come," "We've sought this for years, and now it's finally happening,"
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 09:19 pmBMEZine forced to relocate their operations to Canada or shut down. Given precedent, editor Shannon Larratt faces life in prison if he ever sets foot in the USA again - and for what? Because he runs a website where consenting adults can upload pictures of their tattoos and piercings.
BMEZine's original statement now reads:
It's been reproduced for your reading pleasure, at the link above.
Both links are work-safe. Any other link on bmezine.com is most likely *not*. In fact, many are not lunch-safe either. That's not the point.
BMEZine's original statement now reads:
This article has been removed.
Fuck the long and dirty arm of the DoJ and DHS.
It's been reproduced for your reading pleasure, at the link above.
Both links are work-safe. Any other link on bmezine.com is most likely *not*. In fact, many are not lunch-safe either. That's not the point.
(no subject)
Jul. 27th, 2005 11:50 pmNASA grounds all shuttles until further notice, after a piece of Discovery breaks off during liftoff.
Of course, the problem with "grounding" the Discovery is that it hasn't come back down, yet...
Of course, the problem with "grounding" the Discovery is that it hasn't come back down, yet...
